


Twilight Spark

by rockwell_psycho



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Genre: (in a way), Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Mutual Pining, Neck Kissing, One Shot, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Sex Pollen, Shameless Smut, Smut, Some Humor, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockwell_psycho/pseuds/rockwell_psycho
Summary: You’re a hitchhiker who decided to earn some money by delivering a special flower used for some rituals on a distant planet. You knew the plant could be dangerous, but what you didn’t know is that it was used for bridal rituals, due to its specific effects… Which you soon had to experience by yourself, because of Zaphod Beeblebrox’s clumsiness…
Relationships: Zaphod Beeblebrox/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Twilight Spark

**Author's Note:**

> It’s the first (and probably the last) pollen fic I’ve ever written. Now, I’m a bit in the shame pit after this, but it could probably be even more explicit, I guess. Also, it’s kinda funny and even Marvin appears (love him!)… So… Hope you enjoy :D  
> HAPPY TOWEL DAY!!!

\- Normality restored.

The electronic voice echoed in your ears. Wincing, you carefully got on your feet. You felt slightly dizzy, but it was a normal thing. Years of hitchhiking made you used to a variety of not quite pleasant sensations. The backpack and the towel were with you so you knew you’d be fine. Now, where were you? Looking around, you realized that this spaceship was actually familiar.

_Wait a minute… Normality? There’s only one ship in the Galaxy that uses Infinite Improbability Drive…_

\- Well look who’s there, - you heard. - Nice to meet you again, sweetheart! Welcome aboard!

\- Zaphod, - you sighed.

Beeblebrox beamed at you cheerfully. His outfit was sparkling golden, and with a bright red scarf and cowboy-like boots he looked ridiculous, like some kind of a disco dancer you saw in some old movies from the Earth, yet still impressive.

You already had a chance to meet Zaphod Beeblebrox not once, and not even twice. Back in the days when you’ve just started hitchhiking, you used to travel a lot with Ford Prefect, and since Zaphod was Ford’s semi-half-cousin your meeting was practically inevitable. Plus he was a President of the Galaxy after all, so most of the people whose planets possess adequate communication technologies that allow them watching the news at least knew his face (or faces).

\- Zarquon, - you muttered. - From all the ships cruising about the Galaxy, what were the odds that I caught yours?..

\- Just the effects of the Improbability Drive, I guess - Zaphod shrugged with a serene smile. - You know, those totally meaningless coincidences… Ain’t you happy to see me though? Haven’t seen you for ages! Is Ford with you?

\- No, he isn’t.

\- Oh. Did you have a fight or something?

\- We didn’t… Why are you asking? - You frowned.

\- Simple curiosity, - he grinned again. - Anyway, I’ve been alone for quite a while… Okay, not completely alone, there’s Marvin somewhere around, but you know, his company isn’t very… Uplifting. So you have no idea how happy I am to see you here…

At this Zaphod smirked and reached your hand, pressing a courteous kiss there. 

\- Stop it, - you huffed.

You couldn’t tell you didn’t like Zaphod. The thing was, he always annoyed you, sometimes more, sometimes less. He was one of those people who seem to fill the entire room with their presence. Zaphod was just… _too much_. And at times you really got tired of him. Plus he was incredibly self-centered and hundred percent convinced in his irresistibility. Zaphod thinking about someone except himself? You could hardly imagine that. But at the same time, you had to admit - Beeblebrox had a certain charm. He wasn’t a bad guy after all, and you weren’t _completely_ opposed to spending some time with him on board this really luxurious ship. After all, you needed to get back somehow, and honestly, it wasn’t the worst option. The planet Zaphod picked you up from was a rather distant one. Not the most popular place for travelling. You were lucky you managed to catch a ride that fast.

\- Don’t be grumpy, baby doll, - Zaphod winked, grabbing your hand and leading you along the corridor. - Let’s get a drink, and then you’ll tell me what you’re up to!

* * *

\- So, Meret III, huh? - Zaphod narrowed his eyes, glaring at you, as you scrolled through the notes on your data pad. - Will you tell me what kind of a deal brought you to that hellhole of a place, or?..

\- Zaphod, you know very well, I’m just a hitchhiker, - you shrugged. - Just discovering new places, that’s all.

\- You’re not gonna fool me, sweetheart. What’s the zarking zark is there to discover? It’s one big wood with no one around, the most boring place to visit. Even more boring than… Earth! You can’t even breathe there normally due to the poisonous dust from the plants…

\- How do you know? - You raised an eyebrow. - Have you been there?

\- No. Just asked Marvin while you were in the bathroom… Don’t change the subject! No one would go to such a boring planet unless there’s some hidden treasure…

\- I’m telling you, it’s nothing… Hey! - You yelled as his third hand suddenly snatched the data pad from you, causing you jerk and drop your glass from the armrest, the drink spilling on the floor. - Ugh, look what you’ve done!..

Zaphod didn’t pay any attention to the mess.

\- What?... - he frowned in confusion, looking through your notes. - A flower?.. Wait… _How_ much does it cost?..

\- Give that back! - You snarled, yanking the pad from his hands. - Yes, a flower. A rare one. U’Denti people hired me to get it to them - they use it for uh… annual ritual of some kind. It was a good deal.

\- I’ll bet my boots! Hey, since you’re about to get a ton of money, and I’m giving you a ride, maybe be we could share…

\- No way. You didn’t help me with this, I found the flower myself so the money’s mine. Besides… You don’t need money, come on! You’re a President of the Galaxy!

\- Relax, baby doll, I was just kidding with you, - he chuckled. - I need nothing from you except your lovely company.

Somehow his flirty manner always made you feel a little awkward.

\- And by the way, stop calling me “baby doll”. It’s cheesy and makes me cringe, - you grimaced.

\- Oh really?.. Well, is “sweetheart” better?

\- I have a name, just so you know.

\- Darling, don’t be so dull. What do you have against me?

\- Nothing. I’m just not a fan of pet names. And you’re just too cheeky for my taste.

\- Guess that’s the way I am, - he let out a small laugh. - Anyway, that flower… I’m dying of curiosity… Will you show it to me?..

\- It’s just a flower, Zaphod. Nothing to look at, really…

\- But how did you get it here? Isn’t it dangerous? Come on y/n, we have a long way to go, plenty of time, and I really wanna know the whole story.

\- Okay, - you gave in. - I’ll show you.

You grabbed your backpack, opened it and unzipped a hidden pocket inside.

\- See? It’s a place where I carry fragile items, - you explained. - It’s very soft and it kinda follows the item’s shape, so it’s safe.

\- I really like your backpack, - Zaphod looked at you curiously like a child.

\- And as for the flower itself, - you continued, - I put it into this container…

Carefully, you released a small transparent box. The flower was inside and looked really pretty. Its petals gleamed with light purple and tender pink, and it seemed like sparkling with magic dust.

\- Well, look at you… - Zaphod took the box from your hand, holding it up to his eyes to examine the plant. - And this what all the fuss is about? It’s so tiny!..

\- Be careful with it! - You warned. - The pollen is extremely poisonous, and as I said it’s very rare. I saw only a couple more of such flowers there on Meret III…

\- Why would U’Denti need such a poisonous thing for their ritual?..

\- No idea. And it’s none of my business, actually. Now will you give it back?

\- I can’t believe this baby can be dangerous! Maybe they fooled you? Wait, let’s ask Marvin! He knows everything. Hey, Marvin!..

Before you could stop him, Zaphod jumped on his feet and… Immediately tripped on the drink you spilled. Letting out a ragged shriek, he collapsed on the floor dropping the container with the flower. Gasping, you made a desperate dart to catch it, but it slipped of your fingers and broke into pieces on the floor, raising a cloud of dust, suddenly big for such a little plant. Everything happened so fast that neither you nor Zaphod managed to cover your noses or hold your breath.

For a second you stayed motionless, staring at each other with widened eyes as if you both were afraid you’d explode right at the spot.

\- Oh. Zark. - Zaphod finally uttered. - So… What’s gonna happen now… I don’t feel anything yet. Do you feel anything? Are we gonna die??

His tone was becoming more and more anxious with each phrase.

\- I… Don’t know… But for zark’s sake, Beeblebrox, don’t panic!

At this moment the door opened with a loud sigh.

\- Did anyone call me? - You heard Marvin’s sad voice.

\- Yes, yes, we did! - Zaphod exclaimed. - We need you, buddy! It is a question of life and death!

\- Really? - Marvin sounded confused.

\- Zaphod, calm down, or I’ll punch you in the face, okay? - You said. On the inside you were about to scream as well, but tried hard to keep yourself composed, knowing that if the both of you give in to the emotions it won’t make the situation any better.

\- Marvin, - you addressed to the robot. - Can you please take a look at this flower right here and tell us what you know about it?

Marvin approached quietly, picked the plant up from the floor and observed it carefully for a few seconds that seemed to last forever.

\- I can detect it as a Twilight Spark, - he finally said. - Extremely rare species, found on Meret III only. Tribes from planet U’Denti use it for their annual bridal rituals. Its pollen is poisonous; however it will most certainly _not_ cause death or serious health damage. It only affects…

\- THANK ZARK!!! - Zaphod screamed in relief. - Ha! I knew they fooled you!!!

\- Hey, will you shut up! - You groaned. - Wait a second… You said _what_ rituals? The _bridal_ ones?..

\- This is exactly what I was saying before being roughly interrupted, - Marvin replied in a grumpy tone.

\- Sorry, we didn’t really want to interrupt you… - you apologized.

\- It’s okay. I’m pretty much used to it.

\- Could you please continue though? - You encouraged. - You said the pollen affects…

\- It affects your libido.

\- Our… What?.. - You and Zaphod exchanged confused glances.

\- Libido is…

\- Marvin, we know what it is, - you cut him off, - can you just tell us more about this effect?..

\- If a humanoid inhales the pollen, in approximately half an hour they’d experience a very intense sexual excitement…

\- Pfff, - Zaphod snorted a laugh. - If that’s the only effect, I pretty much can handle it! Bet you too, baby do… Sweetheart…

\- It’s multiples higher than natural arousal, and can cause aching pains, fever, racing heart and laboured breathing. The effect lasts for several hours.

\- Well… - You sighed deeply, calming yourself down, - it doesn’t sound great for sure, but I guess we really can handle it… Just… You go to your quarters and I’ll go to mine, and we’ll, you know… take care of ourselves until it’s all over…

\- I am afraid it’s not that simple, - Marvin continued. - Your bodies would crave for _human_ contact. That’s why it is used in bridal rituals. The pollen makes sure the newlyweds are attracted enough to each other to conceive an offspring. U’Denti are known for their low fertility and low emotional attachment, that’s why the use of Twilight Spark is important for their propagation.

\- …Or we could, uhhh… Help each other out… - Zaphod gave you a questioned look.

\- Wh… No. No zarking way, - you shook your head.

\- Look, not to brag about it, but they say I’m quite good in bed…

\- It’s… Not the point, Zaphod! It just… Doesn’t feel right, okay?.. Look, it’s gonna be a tough night, but for sure we can survive it. Zark, Beeblebrox… I told you to be careful with this thing!...

\- Sorry… - He mumbled suddenly helplessly, and you knew you just couldn’t be angry with him at the moment.

\- Actually it’s my fault too, - you told him. - I should have learnt more details before going on this… mission.

\- Hey… It’s only a few hours, right? - Zaphod laughed nervously, placing his hand on your shoulder as a gesture of support. - We can make it. At least we’re not gonna die, huh?..

\- Yeah… - you nodded.

Still you had, as some wise man said once, a bad feeling about this. A really bad one…

* * *

You started to experience the first effects of the pollen soon enough. At first it was just an aching throb between your legs that caused you squeeze your thighs together to relieve it a little bit. Very soon it wasn’t enough. You started to sweat. It felt like there wasn’t enough air to breathe in your quarters. You felt slightly dizzy, and you couldn’t occupy yourself with reading - your vision became blurred and jittery, but even if the vision was okay, you weren’t sure you’d be able to focus. Your whole body was on fire, muscles were aching, you felt tense and couldn’t relax. Heart beat fast and hard and it felt like your ribcage was too tight for it.

At some point the heat became really hard to bear, so you got under the cold shower. It helped just a tiny bit - by the time you finished drying your hair with the towel, the fever came back again, the ache between your thighs was almost painful.

You put on a tank top and pajama pants, took a sleeping pill you found somewhere in the depths of your backpack and lied down on the bed. Time seemed to stand still, you already wasn’t that sure you’d manage to survive until morning. Hoping it would help, you slid your hand inside your pants. Your fingers found a throbbing bud between your folds, and started circling it. It did help a little bit; the touches felt nice and pleasant, but they didn’t bring you much needed release. The more you touched yourself, the more frustrated you grew. Your skin was practically itching with need to feel someone’s hands against it. You tried to fool your brain by imagining that fingers touching you were not your own, imagining the weight of a firm body on top of yours, the warmth and softness of a kiss… You were always so good at imagining things, but this time it just didn’t work.

The door suddenly yawned, and you gasped, quickly getting your hand off your pants. Zaphod was standing in the doorframe. He didn’t look any better than you. He was wearing a bathrobe and tight boxers covered with little silvery stars. They absolutely didn’t hide his hardened bulge. He was sweaty and pretty much agitated.

\- Hey! - He tried to give you a usual charming smile, but it looked more like a painful grimace. - Just… Wanted to check on you… How’re you doing?

\- Shitty, - you growled, unable to deny the obvious. - You?

\- Same, - Zaphod sighed, eyeing you from head to toes. His glance fixed on your nipples, hardening underneath the tank top, damp from sweat, and he swallowed hard.

\- Y/n… My uh… question of helping you out still stands, - he said in a slightly hoarse voice as he approached your bed.

\- Zaphod, don’t… - you mumbled.

His fingertips only brushed against your forearm, but this innocent feathery touch already caused you shudder.

\- Sweetheart, please… - Zaphod leaned in, his knee between your legs, and cupped your face. He looked absolutely desperate. - Do you… do you really hate me _that_ much?..

\- No… No, I don’t hate you, - you whispered breathlessly.

It was true. You never hated him, despite everything. And as he stood there so close to you, so close that you could feel his breath on your skin, it seemed absolutely ridiculous to fight it any longer. Letting go of all the fears and prejudice, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and his lips eagerly crushed on yours. The kiss was wet, messy and sloppy, but it felt like a breath of fresh air. You gasped and moaned against his mouth, fingers tangling into his golden locks as you couldn’t get enough of his lips and tongue. You parted for a moment, pressing foreheads together, breathing raggedly, and then greedily kissed again. It felt amazing, but still not enough. You realized you were grinding against his thigh when he pulled back.

\- I’ll take care of you, okay? - This phrase from Zaphod Beeblebrox, this arrogant self-centered bastard, was something you absolutely didn’t expect to hear, in any circumstances. All you could do was nod, as he yanked down your pants and knickers and settled between your legs. Holding your thighs firmly, he used his third hand to part your folds for better access, and then without further hesitations, he practically devoured you, growling like a starving man.

A cry that escaped your lips was obscene, primal, as your back arched from the bed and your hands gripped onto the sheets. You’ve never felt such an insane amount of pleasure, and your climax has never ever been so fast and so intense. Zaphod didn’t stop until he dragged one more mind-shattering orgasm out of you. Only after that he came back up, nuzzling into your neck.

\- You smell amazing, sweetheart, - he muttered against your skin, inhaling deeply, - and taste even better. Wanna try?

You hummed with pleasure, tasting yourself on his lips and beard as he kissed you again.

\- Take this off, - you hushed, as it was way too hot for his bathrobe.

\- After you.

When the last pieces of clothes were finally discarded, Zaphod hovered over you again. He pinned your wrists against the mattress above your head, and his lips were back on your neck. Caged between his body and the bed, you were practically unable to move, but you strangely enjoyed this feeling. Zaphod’s hand skimmed down your belly into your aching heat, and you gasped as his fingers curled against your sweet spot while his thumb pressed on your clit. He kept kissing, sucking and biting on the tender flesh of your neck and throat, pumping his fingers in and out until another wave of bliss rolled over you, and he muffled your cry with his lips.

Still, even after the third orgasm you weren’t even nearly done, as well as Zaphod.

Your hands were still pressed into the mattress above your head, his fingers lacing with yours when he finally entered you with a low grunt.

\- Holy Zarkquon, - he breathed out, his face buried into your neck as he started moving. - You feel so zarking good… And tight…

You could only whimper in reply. You absolutely enjoyed this delicious stretch, his warmth and the weight of his body, the way his third hand squeezed your breast while the other two kept holding onto yours… Soon you felt your walls fluttering again, clenching around his length. His cock was still rock hard when he slipped out of you and turned you onto your belly. You couldn't even think straight when he slid back between your slick folds, thrusting hard as he lifted your upper body, your back now pressing against his chest, his hands kneading and fondling your breasts.

\- Zaphod, I can't... - You nearly sobbed. Everything felt too much, too sensitive, overstimulated, yet your body was welcoming him.

_Zark, this pollen is really strong..._

\- Don't worry, baby doll, it'll help, - he hushed against your ear, reaching out to rub your clit, matching the pace of his thrusts. At this you instantly felt your fifth orgasm building.

\- You know what, - Zaphod whispered, panting, - I... Never told you... But I always... Always liked you, y/n... I... Fantasized about you... Did you ever fantasize about me?..

\- Y-yes, - you whined out, trembling, as his movements were becoming more and more vigorous. - Zaphod, you can... You know... It's safe... Ah!

A couple more hard thrusts and you felt him twitching as he finally let go. Feeling him swelling and pulsing immediately brought you over the edge, and you came together, clinging to each other and moaning loudly.

Both limp and exhausted you collapsed on the bed, panting, his cock still trapped inside of you.

\- Do you uh… feel better now?.. - Zaphod mumbled when his breathing went almost back to normal.

\- Yeah… Better…But… Stay like this, okay? I… need to feel you.

\- Makes sense, - he replied. - ‘Cause I think I’ll be… Up for another round pretty soon anyways…

The night was gonna be long for sure.

* * *

You woke up completely disoriented, unable to tell how much time you’ve slept and when exactly you dozed off. Despite your muscles were still aching, your body felt pleasantly light, like after a long yet satisfying training in the gym… Or… some other physical activity, pretty satisfying as well.

You turned your head to see Zaphod snoring quietly on his side, hugging the pillow with his two arms while the third one lay across your waist. You wanted to get up carefully, but he immediately sensed your movement - his grip around your frame tightened and he pulled you closer, snuggling against you.

\- Don’t go… - He mumbled sleepily. - Cuddles are important.

\- Alright, - you sighed, trying to relax in his arms. The effect of Twilight Spark faded, and now everything felt awkward. You didn’t even want to remember _everything_ you did last night. But at the same time you felt sudden tenderness towards this weirdo.

\- Hey, Zaphod.

\- Mhmm, - he made, pressing lazy kisses on your shoulder. You turned to face him, as what you were going to ask felt important.

\- Look at me, - you said gently, cupping his cheek. He obeyed, blinking in slight confusion.

\- I want you to answer honestly, Beeblebrox. What you told me last night about you liking me… Was it just the pollen, or you really meant that?

\- Uh… - he stumbled.

\- Come on, Zaphod. I don’t see any point in hiding something, especially after... what happened.

\- Alright, okay… Yes, I really meant that, - he confessed. - I always thought you’re so beautiful and witty, and smart… Brave, too… But I wasn’t sure what’s between you and Ford. You see, I’m no angel, I happened to steal other guys’ girlfriends… A few times, to be honest. But Ford’s my relative, so… that would be pretty mean, you know. Even for me.

\- Ford? There’s nothing between me and Ford, Zaphod. Well… Actually there was something… at some point. Not gonna lie. But it didn’t work out, so we decided to remain friends in the end.

\- Oh. So you mean I have a chance, huh? - Zaphod grinned cheekily.

\- I don’t know. Haven’t decided yet.

\- But… You told me you fantasized about me too… Or was it just pollen?

\- No, it wasn’t… It’s just… I didn’t exactly fantasize… Not intentionally anyway. But… once I had a pretty intense and embarrassing dream about you. I had no idea why it happened…

\- Side effects of Improbablitity Drive?.. - Zaphod shrugged. - You know, all those meaningless coincidences…

\- Yeah, maybe.

You were lying in silence for a few moments before he spoke again.

\- Actually… I wouldn’t mind if we do it again sometime… Just... without pollen. Not to complain, but I think I've had enough of it. Or… I’d better ask you out for a drink or something, how ‘bout that?

\- I’ll think of it, - you smiled at him. - You’re annoying, but maybe worth a chance. Only... we have a problem now…

\- Huh?

\- Well, I don’t think the flower can work again. Guess we have to come back and find the new one…

\- Oh, zark… Hey, I know. Once we’ll be back on Meret III, we’ll send Marvin to get this flower for us, yeah?

\- Marvin won’t be very happy about it, I guess… But I like this plan, - you admitted. - Don’t think I’m able to function yet…

\- Same, - Zaphod yawned. - Let’s just cuddle some more, shall we?..

\- This plan is good too, - you agreed, closing your eyes and letting him pull you in a tight hug again.

You and Zaphod? Very improbable, and maybe you’ll regret about this later… But not today. Today the cuddles were really important.


End file.
